theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Writing down dreams)
Can't wait for the writing to start already!

This time there'll be no reason to be terrified that there'll be no plot whatsoever: I found a plot-bunny hiding in a corner a few days ago and after a short visit to TvTropes it's ready to get going and pretty much finished. Well, as finished and carved in stone that a nano-plot can be. I don't now how it all will end, but I sure as hell know what my heroine wants. And if she get's her will there'll be something just short of an acocalypse. And I like the sound of this. I really do like blowing stuff up.

I have the silliest crush on my star puppet. I just can't wait to get to know her better. She's not my usual clisheéd heroine, has some backstory and backbone to her and is a mad android/humanoid/mess who'll be sure to prevent the story from lacking action. I is so excite! I have no idea why tattoos and fauxhawks are suddenly a good thing, but I don't care. I love the way she looks.

My first nano (-07) was melodramatic piece of historial inaccuracy (with a male lead). Nano -08 got the facts right most of the time and had more of a plot and was a murder mystery where the murderer got away (with a male lead). Nano -09 was about to get epic but didn't have the time to even start before time was over and the finish line was crossed. It had a fantasy setting, an anti-hero, a male lead and dragons and this year I'm trying to include hopefully two of them.

In nano -10 I'm aiming for a world that is rusty, broken, burning and dying and it's going to be scifi. I haven't really worked out how the world is built - where's the part of it that isn't all about empty houses and broken glass, but virtual realities and spaceships? Where are they who are the reason my main character even exists? I'm not worried: I have a week time and enough of plot-bunnies.

Why can't it be Nanowrimo-time already?
theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Default)
I almost hate the fic I've been writing for almost two years now. I've forgotten what it feel like to just tell a story and not edit something that is almost finished. Would this look better this way? What about leaving that out, adding something else there? Gah. I don't like editing. I'm never pleased with something if I wasn't pleased with the original draft - hell, even then I'll see ways to improve and if I allow myself to start editing...Well, here I am complaining.

Every Day Play is at moments brilliant - I mean, I do like it. But there are moments when it does not work. And I'm going to fix everything. And I don't feel like working with it anymore since my goals are so far away. There's so much to fix!

It didn't help losing all the subtle changes I'd made these last three months. I said there weren't that much that was lost, but the truth is, I'd forgotten how much I'd done, a word here and there, half a chapter rewritten once in a while - Partly it's still in my head so I can fix stuff again, make them look something like what I'd already made them look like, but it's not the same.

I'm just whining here, sorry. Just needed to rant.
theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Default)
The hard drive chrashed. All the info I had stored on it during our four years together - gone. And there I sat - not crying, not feeling that emotional really - staring at a black screen. It happened suddenly, there was no warning, there was three days of not knowing if this was permanent, if my laptop wouldn't wake up ever again - and then, well, then came the verdict. Hard drive gone, info gone, the machine itself was probably fine after some poking.

I survived a week without too much contact to a computer - and it might come as a surprise, I've done it before. All voluntary then. Not that hooked with the internets yet. What was hard was realising slowly what was gone. A really depressing week, every day thinking about stuff that was just a click away - and realising it was just a new part of my life that had been related to/ part of a computer and wasn't coming back. I have a really strange need to store memories. Store them on my computer in form of quotes, links, random scrap.

I had troubles letting go of my phone - losing some texts stored in there weighed more than changing to a newer model. It felt stupid, the change was made, and it felt stupid still. Doesn't change the fact that I like my little keepsakes of old conversations - not to an obsessive level, I can let go of stuff,  but I like to store as much as possible - and the silliest things that went with the hard drive made me sad now. I had stored copies of the important things, fics and ficlets, pics, but nano-winner-badges, best parts of age old msn-conversations, quotes, links to silly things, all gone forever (expect the nano-badges).

I don't get myself sometimes. What point is there in missing something you never looked twice, but just knew was there somewhere (until it wasn't)?


Sep. 7th, 2010 05:36 pm
theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Whups?)
art below the cut )
theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Sandman. Death. Pidgeons.)
Welcome to my kingdom of yet undecided content. I'm not sure if this will end up being just my scrapbook or if I really have the time to write lengthy meta-text or if this will stay pretty much empty and uninteresting. Anyway, this post is not about the journal itself but the the mighty interesting me - or if you prefer a shorter title: either Theo or Tupsu is just fine.

I don't really have a plan how to make this introduction sound like me. I mean, I'm pretty normal, but I'm not boring. I like to babble and ramble (and therefore everything will end up lengthy) and I like to write (see the previous) and the name I choose for my lj is not just random letters put after one another - I like to hear theories and make up some myself. Oh, and I like reading: books as well as fanfiction.

I tell stories all the time. And, yeah, I kinda like to lie. I Lie all the time without even noticing, okay exaggerate. Nothing grand or dangerous. It's just that I tell stories when one expects me being serious. I mean no harm so don't get offended - and please don't feel like I shouldn't be trusted. When I say I'm a woman and a nerd, I am a woman addicted to games, certain type of comics (Sandman, Hellboy) but know nada about coding or computers besides the basic basic programing. Someday I will though. Silly me dreams of working with game design someday.

Okay, what more could there be to me? A sad case of a fangirl who'll drool after everything dysfunctional after she's done her best to turn it fluffy, that's me put in a single sentence. My favourite hobbies include trying to fix pairings that can't be fixed - I'm a masocist like that - and making fictional characters suffer.

Roxas/Axel is what I use my days with nowadays - go check my dA - but I enjoy some H/D too, am a fan of Loveless (the main pair is love - painful kind) and one of my healthiest ships is Remus/Sirius. Shortly put:  I'm one to cling to few things and never let go. These pairings have been with me for years now and even if I've tried to find something new, I've failed.

Since I ran out of things to say this time, I'll continue this in a later post. Maybe. But to those who don't know me and pass by, I'm not the most outgoing person, but if somebody says hi I'll reply. Just a warning: I like talking.


theoriesontales: Picture of a teel coloured deer on a background of text too tiny to be read (Default)

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